"It is important to have a good start to the year as it will then be a more favourable year".
I get this line from myee’s blog. So wat it means if I started a new year so awfully, with so many unpleasant conditions.

Today is Chinese new year eve, where every family members n relatives are draw together n hav a reunion dinner. I find it truly meaningless for me to party myself in tis cny. I dun even find a destination for me to dress up my new shirts. Well, tis is my very first time to feel tis way.

As usual, I’ll be goin to my uncle’s (dad’s side) house for reunion lunch, not dinner. But we dun use to eat together in a circle, each family takes turn, isn’t it so weird. Im not very close to all my cousin sisters n brothers, even tho we meet up during cny, but we never talk, juz look at each other n smile loh. dats it.

It wil be more pleasurable if we are goin to visit my aunty (mom’s side) in penang, where we used to travel there every cny. im so delighted everytime we stop at the rest stations, tasting variety of foodstuff.

Sadly, bro is unwell; his liver is infected, by the traditional medicine where he used to take daily since 3months ago. Bro supposed to take it once a day, but mom came out with a SO great idea where having twice a day wil recover sooner. N consequently, d medicine is too strong for bro, n thus it weakens bro’s liver n infection happens today. This is reli so dumb. From the very first day, the master had warned us not be doctor ourself, but then. Aih. bro went to the hospital for the past 3days for blood testing, so far, his infected liver never turn well but the rate keep increasing. He’s losing appetite to eat n he’s getting thinner n thinner. He needs to follow up very closely with the doctor n his blood will be tested everyday. His epilepsy not even well yet but another illness comes in.

Im getting fearful now to sleep wit my bro, pretty anxious whenever he’s away mid nite. There was once 6am in the morning, I woke up n he’s not beside me, I went out n looked for him. He went upstairs n I guess he’s attacked by epilepsy again. I lose my courage to go a step closer to see him coz I duan to witness him in dat condition again. I gave up n I went bak to my bed. When he came bak, he told me that he went toilet. I refused to further question him n I turned to the other side n start tearing. He no longer wana share with me whenever he’s unwell. His dignity is more vital than to cure his illness. Im speechless n tired as well.

I will juz do whatever I can.